Deep thinkers, wise words and lack of connection to the core


“How much was it?”

“6-7 I think… It costs the same as my other bag; it’s just a different colour that came out season”

“I f*cking love it! But I was going to set my limit at 5 hundred”

Hundred? Seriously… wait, how much?! I thought to myself as I overheard the conversation of two girls occupying the same elevator I was in. How is it possible for someone to be willing to spend so much… on a bag?

It wasn’t my place to think much else of it. Their money. Their choice. I carried on with my journey.

I handed the overdue recording equipment to Dave, the technical guy at my university.

“I did something silly today, I already got the bus here today to bring the equipment this morning but for some reason forgot why I’d come so went back to my flat.”

Looking back I can see how unintentionally false I was being, making light of the fact that I’ve become so distracted and saddened recently that I was beginning to lose my mind hence the forgetfulness.

The worst part was, I had little idea as to why. So often I am told how I have everything going for me as a young woman in this world, I’m not denying that, I’m lucky and more importantly thankful.

I’d be a fool to let opportunities pass me by. So I don’t. I take them where I can and help others where I can too. My summer plans are set, God willing I can set up my new charity project soon; I just first need to rid whatever is phasing me.

I feel like I exhaust my friends, describing to them only the surface of my discontent, followed by my lack of resolve. Months slowly turn into years. Time seems not to be the healer everyone imagined it to be.

It’s not natural for me to contact anyone when I engage in deep thought over spirituality, personal anxieties, or existence in this world. It’s not an option for me, never has been so you would probably be correct in concluding my reasons for this writing.

Morals and principles are core in my system of belief. I make mistakes. I am more than conscious of this. But in everyone’s life, a path must be chosen. This particular one determines their lives. A few years now I’ve walked on the path I chose.

I believe in God. And this relationship I truly believe in keeping to myself, despite the speculation amongst those who share my beliefs and those who do not. I do not need or want praise from those who share my beliefs, nor do I need the ridicule from those who do not. Those who react to either, I think, slightly insecure which of course is natural but slightly concerning when the proclaim devotion.

Importance lies in recognizing open-mindedness as a trait in the devout. The understanding of others’ beliefs is a crucial component of peaceful co-existence. Agreement is not mandatory, just listening ear. This is a concept elusive to many, acquired by the blessed.

After dropping off the equipment I indulged with a white chocolate mocha in a café whilst reading a book my best friend had given the night before to help me have an understanding of a religion debated so often; Islam. I refuse to gain knowledge of a religion from the internet, or others’ proclamations. Reading a profound understanding, one I could trust to then make my own conclusion was what I needed. The title; “Islam and the destiny of Man”

Unexpectedely I began to theorise the source of my own unexplainable discontent. The author, Eaton speaks of his correspondence with the writer L.H Myers.

“When I asked if he had put all his serenity into his books, leaving nothing for himself, he replied: “I think your comment was shrewd and probably true.”

Myers lived a life of adventures, possessed charm, wealth, good-looks and of course wise words. But even the wisest words could not save him. 3 years after Eaton approached Myers about the lack of serenity in his life, Myers committed suicide.

“His wisdom had been only in his head. It had never penetrated his human substance.”

Knowledge learned and morals undertaken proceed to action helping others but provide little comfort when not connect into the core of a person’s soul. As the saying goes, it is often those who use wise words who are stronger than those who merely deliver them.

The search for truth, knowledge and understanding of existence can lead to motivation in a persons life, naturally make this world a more peaceful place. But to others, a void unfilled can lead only to more discontent, an obsession you could say. Wise-words we hear all so often derive from the discontent of those who have dug deep to find them.

Pursuing philosophy is no bad thing, in fact I believe the lack of questionning is the reason we find so many problems unsolved in the society we live in. But when we live in a world where the questioning of “Why?” is quickly grown out of as children become adults, those who do continue are faced wondering why they still question whilst others are content with the trivial; materialism.

At this point I realised perhaps deep down I wished I could be like the girls who were conversing over their handbags in the elevator. Why could I not be content living like they do? Would it not be easier to seek materials than whatever it is I’m looking for? A balance needs to be kept, a quest on a level that can be applied to our lives.

It seems I have detached myself from the world of materialism, which yes I am glad about, but I’m begin to wonder if I severed my attachments from everything else too. My friend once too suggested my difficulty lied with the fact that I had nothing to hold on too. A quote by Eaton to match my thoughts:

“All I knew was that I knew nothing… and I was paralysed by my ignorance as thought immobilised in a dense fog”

Adoption of faith, knowledge, understanding, logic and action is inadequate without intertwining them with mind, body and soul. Realisation is the first step.

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3 thoughts on “Deep thinkers, wise words and lack of connection to the core

  1. Great read, Rima, thank you.
    Recently I find myself caught up in everlasting thoughts, questions of existance, faith, life today and many others that I will simply omit for the sake of conversation.
    I think I found that my main problem was I was under some false pretence that I was the first person to think these thoughts, or that there was at least some originality to them. We live in a world of blindness, where the mass people are taught to worship celebrities and to eradicate all thoughts of life. Religion is particularly laughed at by many people who claim themselves to be ‘atheist’ with their research coming from a 4 minute video on Youtube. Anyway, I guess my point is, life goes on. And my main aim for the purest humanity is to live an unselfish life. Which is actually the hardest thing for any human to do: to be completely unselfish.
    I found myself often in puzzlement and endless thoughts, whilst the whole world was talking about Facebook and the latest episode of Eastenders. I guess I thought i was alone, or maybe i thought of myself as special…i don’t know. And it seems my whole life I thought i knew everything before anyone could teach me. Anyway, my point is and the reason I am telling you all this is that I feel a certain connection to you. I too have become distracted and wrapped up in my thoughts. But Rima, please remember, there is no rush to knowing now. A lifetime ahead of you with plenty of moments for thought. Rushing thoughts should be of no regular practice. And from my perspective, you think good thoughts and you’re thinking in the right light. But be careful to not let any puzzlement get to you.
    What I found particularly useful, and forgive me if you have no interest, was the Christian outlook on the world today. I stumbled across The Fuel Project’s “Know your Enemy” series on youtube. Which is an 80 part series looking at the New world order, religion, history etc from a Christian perspective. I myself am not a christian, but I guess it’s the religion that i have a greater understanding of. I found myself interested in Islam, Zoroastrianism and Christianity throughout the past year and I think this essay series answered a lot of unanswered questions i had. Althought I must say it is certainly not the answer to everything, merely an insight.
    Anyway, you may research into it, or you may not, i guess that’s how life works- things present themselves to you and you make a decision- either way i wish you all the best with whichever decision you take haha.
    I am so sorry…I seem to have written you an Essay!!! I guess i just wanted to talk hahaha. Anyway, Thank you for posting this Rima, whenever i stumble upon your blogs I appreciate the good read 🙂
    I hope all is well with you and I wish you all the best with everything,
    John.
    PS: The link to the fuel project if interest persuades you…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDDGl79x4Pc

  2. Great read, Rima, thank you.
    Recently I find myself caught up in everlasting thoughts, questions of existance, faith, life today and many others that I will simply omit for the sake of conversation.
    I think I found that my main problem was I was under some false pretence that I was the first person to think these thoughts, or that there was at least some originality to them. We live in a world of blindness, where the mass people are taught to worship celebrities and to eradicate all thoughts of life. Religion is particularly laughed at by many people who claim themselves to be \’atheist\’ with their research coming from a 4 minute video on Youtube. Anyway, I guess my point is, life goes on. And my main aim for the purest humanity is to live an unselfish life. Which is actually the hardest thing for any human to do: to be completely unselfish.
    I found myself often in puzzlement and endless thoughts, whilst the whole world was talking about Facebook and the latest episode of Eastenders. I guess I thought i was alone, or maybe i thought of myself as special…i don\’t know. And it seems my whole life I thought i knew everything before anyone could teach me. Anyway, my point is and the reason I am telling you all this is that I feel a certain connection to you. I too have become distracted and wrapped up in my thoughts. But Rima, please remember, there is no rush to knowing now. A lifetime ahead of you with plenty of moments for thought. Rushing thoughts should be of no regular practice. And from my perspective, you think good thoughts and you\’re thinking in the right light. But be careful to not let any puzzlement get to you.
    What I found particularly useful, and forgive me if you have no interest, was the Christian outlook on the world today. I stumbled across The Fuel Project\’s \”Know your Enemy\” series on youtube. Which is an 80 part series looking at the New world order, religion, history etc from a Christian perspective. I myself am not a christian, but I guess it\’s the religion that i have a greater understanding of. I found myself interested in Islam, Zoroastrianism and Christianity throughout the past year and I think this essay series answered a lot of unanswered questions i had. Althought I must say it is certainly not the answer to everything, merely an insight.
    Anyway, you may research into it, or you may not, i guess that\’s how life works- things present themselves to you and you make a decision- either way i wish you all the best with whichever decision you take haha.
    I am so sorry…I seem to have written you an Essay!!! I guess i just wanted to talk hahaha. Anyway, Thank you for posting this Rima, whenever i stumble upon your blogs I appreciate the good read
    I hope all is well with you and I wish you all the best with everything,
    John.
    PS: The link to the fuel project if interest persuades you…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDDGl79x4Pc

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