This maybe one of the most self-obssessed blogs I have written. It has nothing to do with anyone but myself and my personal journey but I’m curious as to if anyone else has felt the same? Maybe this might help them.

Recently I have realised that I am one of those people who spend their time searching. I have no idea what it is I look for but my heart resigns itself to idea that it needs it to survive and move to the next chapter of my life. It is a constant search, and although I have no idea what it is I am searching for, I convince myself that I know exactly where to find it. So I wait. I wait for times of change in my life, times where I travel for example. I spend times running to the river, the ocean, almost as though I would find serenity instantly. But I never did. I was deluded.

The truth is my mind is not at peace. My problems will never resolve by running away, or by waiting for something to happen. They say time can almost heal anything, but it needs some guidance, some kind of positivity. I guess I’ve got to face up to the fact that today is the day I have to change my attitude. Because it appears as though I’m searching for something elusive. Maybe I was just searching for the realisation I have today. I’m not saying we need to take drastic action, but take each change in life for today, not for tomorrow. End the search and focus on today. Do not expect anything from this world, it owes us nothing.

“One who restrains the senses and organs of action, but whose mind dwells on sense objects, certainly deludes himself and is called a pretender.”–Bhagavad Gita. 3.6


5 thoughts on “Delusion

  1. The time that you stop serching will be the time that you stop thinking. It’s not going to happen! You are an intelligent young woman Rima and thinking and always striving to better ourselves is what we do. There will always be that extra something you are looking for. You will find many things that make you happy and fulfill you, but I believe it’s not wrong to carry on the search. I’m still searching – and I always will be! x

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