…was the question posed to Jasmine by Aladdin moments before he whisks her away on a Magic Carpet. Trust is something I’ve discovered to be a complexity. Trust is an important factor in any context. Important for progression, but if placed in the wrong hands can lead to destruction beyond repair.
This is why some people fear it, avoid it even deny it when it’s in their presence. But then I guess some people genuinely believe the concept is elusive. If we fear that trust isn’t in our presence, are we just waiting for it to disappear so that we can be safe in our judgement that it was never there? I don’t think so and this is why. . .
If you tell someone that you’re scared of falling, and they decide to hold you up and make you feel safer, before they throw you to the ground, you’ll find it’ll be much more painful than if you didn’t trust them. It was only in that split second they held you up that you really knew you could trust them. Just because you maintain that fear of falling, doesn’t mean the trust is not there. I just find it unfortunate that people who believe they are not fully trusted, destroy any trust there is or potentially may be: In this case, throwing her to the ground when she least expects it.
It’s like being a cat on a hot tin roof. The reality in many cases is that the roof will only get hotter, in knowing this the victory lies in the hope the cat has regained in holding on as long as she can in case the roof cools. But even if the roof does cool, what is there to say that the cat will not fall off anyway? There will never be absolute victory for a cat on a hot tin roof.
“One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though … betrayal is the wilful slaughter of hope”. – Steven Deitz
Dismal yes, but valid too. Should the cat sacrifice hope, jump off to save itself from the hurtful predicament? If I was a cat on the hot tin roof, I would jump as soon as I begin to feel it burn. If I hold on, I slow the process of destruction. And it is self-destruction. It is not the roof’s fault when I am the one holding on, hoping it would change.
No matter how much we try to control it, fight against it, trust is an unconscious effort. We cannot open ourselves to it as and when we chose to. It just happens. I guess this is why people find it easy to question, I mean they didn’t click their fingers one day and POW it’s there! I guess in the example I spoke of before, the proof is in the fact that the girl allowed herself to be held up by that person. If she didn’t trust, she wouldn’t have allowed that to happen.
I guess that leads me on to my next point, if trust is shattered can it ever be pieced back together? Does it hold? And if so, how many times can it be lost and regained? Does it begin to hurt less? It appears to me that the only option is not to never trust. As the author of the ‘Cat on a Hot Tin Roof’ himself says:
“We have to distrust each other. It is our only defence against betrayal”. -Tennesse Williams
But then what do we have in a world without trust? We create barriers and distance. These walls make each side enemies. Divide and conquer is the way those without trust function. Then comes the competition to be the superpower. Only in being in a position to provide what we need for our self we can release ourselves from the need of dependence and trust. We see selfishness, attempts to deprives others from having what they need so we can be certain we will never be deprived. When others compete for this status, we try to destroy their walls, their protection. We see wars, death, destruction. Is this really better than the feeling of being betrayed by someone you trust?
“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.” -Frank Crane
It’s an evil cycle causing separation, selfishness and sadness. Like everything, I guess we need to have a balance.
All I wish to know is how do we free ourselves from the attachment that makes us vulnerable but accept a level of trust that to stops us creating barriers. You may turn around to me and say it is as simple as giving someone trust and hoping for the best. Trust your instinct. Whether it tells you to build trust, or it it tells you to walk away. You can be sure that your fate lies in your own hands, not anyone elses.
“The glue that holds all relationships together – including the relationship between; the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” -Bryan Tracy
If the morals, honesty, promises are broken so simply, because you begin to question it, then the integrity you trusted is not true. It is a lie. It is no longer worthy of your trust. It is an individuals choice.
“It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it”-Anon.